Pie-scurity
Pie-scurity
Choose your garment
Color
Find your size
All measurements are in inches, taken with the garment laid flat. Width is the garment's chest width, not your body circumference.
Lay a favorite garment flat without stretching it. Measure straight across the chest and from the high point of the shoulder beside the collar to the bottom hem. Compare with the correct style below.
T-shirt — Forest Green & Off White
| Size | Width (in) | Length (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| 2XL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |
Sweatshirt — Pigment Ivory
| Size | Width (in) | Length (in) |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 19 | 26 |
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 23.5 | 29 |
| XL | 25.5 | 30 |
| 2XL | 27 | 31 |
| 3XL | 28 | 32 |
Sweatshirt — Forest Green
| Size | Width (in) | Length (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 24 | 29 |
| XL | 26 | 30 |
| 2XL | 28 | 31 |
| 3XL | 30 | 32 |
The two sweatshirt styles have different measurements. Measurements are approximate and can vary between garments. For a set, compare and select each garment's size separately.
Full fit & shipping guide
Fit & shipping
Fit & shipping
Find your fit
Compare a favorite garment with the guide for the exact style listed on the product page. Flat chest width is not body circumference.
Forest Green or Off White tee — Gildan G5000
A classic unisex fit in 5.3 oz, 100% cotton. Both colors are offered in S–3XL. Check the Gildan G5000 product details before choosing your size. Choose from the sizes offered on the product page.
| Size | Flat chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| 2XL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |
Measurements are from Gildan’s USA style guide. Garment measurements may vary; choose from the sizes offered on the product page.
Pigment Ivory crewneck — Independent PRM3500
A standard unisex fit in 9 oz, 80% cotton / 20% polyester fleece. Offered in XS–3XL. XS is available in Pigment Ivory only. Use the Independent PRM3500 size chart for this style. Pigment dye gives each garment a slightly different shade; wash it separately.
| Size | Flat chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 19 | 26 |
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 23.5 | 29 |
| XL | 25.5 | 30 |
| 2XL | 27 | 31 |
| 3XL | 28 | 32 |
Measure chest width one inch below the armhole. Body length is measured from the high shoulder point. Measurements are from Independent’s PRM3500 chart; garment measurements may vary.
Forest crewneck — Gildan G18000
A classic unisex fit in 8 oz, 50% cotton / 50% polyester fleece, offered in S–3XL. This is a different sweatshirt style from the Pigment Ivory PRM3500, with its own fit and fabric. Check the Gildan G18000 product details and size chart before choosing your size.
| Size | Flat chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 24 | 29 |
| XL | 26 | 30 |
| 2XL | 28 | 31 |
| 3XL | 30 | 32 |
Use this chart for the Forest G18000 sweatshirt only. Measurements are garment dimensions, not body measurements, and may vary. Compare a favorite sweatshirt laid flat.
Building a set?
Choose the T-shirt and sweatshirt size separately using the guide for each style. Pigment Ivory sweatshirts offer XS–3XL; Forest sweatshirts and both T-shirt colors offer S–3XL. Do not assume the same size fits identically across different garment styles.
Delivery
We ship within the United States. You’ll receive an email with your tracking link when your order is on its way.
Shipping charges are shown at checkout. Items may arrive in separate packages.
Shopping for a specific date? Contact support@mildlydeparted.com before ordering so we can check the current timing for your items.
Need help?
Contact support@mildlydeparted.com before ordering if you need help choosing a size. For a damaged or incorrect item, include your order number and clear photos. Each piece is made to order, so orders cannot be canceled or changed once placed. Please check your size and shipping address before checkout. Read our Returns & Refunds policy for the complete terms.
Protecting the pie. Possibly from himself.
A stern bulldog guards the pumpkin pie with suspicious whipped cream on his muzzle. Pie-scurity is for anyone taking dessert protection seriously—with one slice already missing.
Off White T-shirt with the illustrated design, printed on a Gildan G5000. Classic unisex fit in 5.3 oz, 100% cotton. Offered in S–3XL.
Shipping & support
Shipping & support
We ship within the United States. We'll email your tracking link when your order is on its way. Shipping charges are shown at checkout; items may arrive in separate packages.
For an order question or a problem with your item, email support@mildlydeparted.com with your order number and, when helpful, a photo.
